Why I don’t like first dates

first date

I really dislike first dates. Why? Because they’re all about first impressions, no messing up, and being completely socially acceptable. 3 things I find very challenging!

First Impressions

I don’t like first impressions. They feel so fake and superficial. I feel like first dates are all about the shallow things in life. It’s about keeping things in the conversation light and fun and trying to impress. That’s all fine and dandy, and there’s nothing wrong with light and fun, but I’m a girl who loves a good, long, deep discussion. Even if it’s with a stranger. I love to sit and listen to a person’s story and to talk about beliefs and opinions and ideas and dreams. To sit for an entire evening with someone I’m trying to get to know as a possible lover and keep things shallow requires much effort on my part to not go crazy haha. Needless to say, I’m far from being a pro when it comes to first dates ;P

No Messing Up

Going out to dinner on a date, especially a first date, is one of the most stressful things!! I sit there and analyze everything on the menu. “Oh! A hamburger sounds good! Oh wait….I eat like a child and end up with half of it in my lap. That might not be a great idea. Ok, what about that scrumptious looking pasta? But what if I can’t keep it on my fork? Or can’t get it on my fork at all? Or scoop up too big of a bite and most of it ends up all over my face? Scratch that. Ooooo salad is always a winner! Plus, it makes it look like I’m a healthy eater! Which is always a plus……..except…..salad tends to get stuck in teeth and that would just be awful” So the end result is usually me giving in and ordering whatever but eating only a few bites. Thus, starving the rest of the date.

Then there’s the whole awfulness of accidentally scooting just a smidgen in your seat and the stupid seat making that embarrassing sound that sounds more than just a seat squeaking. Don’t act like it hasn’t happened to you, either! You all know what I’m talking about.

I’m convinced chairs hate me.

It’s pretty much inevitable that I mess up in some way or another. lol

Socially Acceptable

Haha……hahaha….yeahhhhh. I don’t do well with being socially acceptable.

1. My choice of clothing usually gets stares. I wear all different colored tights with heels, flats, or boots. I rarely wear jeans, but instead, most of my wardrobe consists of dresses, skirts, grandma sweaters, etc. I love bright colors like yellows, oranges, greens, and so on and so forth. I don’t stick to what’s in style, but instead I stick to what I like. So, with that said, when I go on a first date, I usually take way longer than usual to pick an outfit because I feel the need to tone things down a bit.

2. I have no shame in being loud. I laugh a lot and usually draw attention to myself in a restaurant or public place. I’ve had more than one occasion where friends have asked me to not laugh so much or so loudly because I’m embarrassing them lol. What can I say? I like to laugh.

I also tend to get very excited very easily. When I’m really excited and telling a story or explaining the root of such intense excitement, I’ve heard that I get a more high-pitched voice and louder than usual.

So, when on a date, I force myself to bring it down a few notches. To stay calm, laugh here and there, and not show too much of my real personality.

I like to keep things real and down to earth. I like to be genuine and honest in who I am. I feel like if someone doesn’t like me for me, that’s their problem. I don’t like being anything less than me. I don’t like putting up a front to impress and being fake. Being fake just feels so…..well……fake. Even if I’ve known the person previously, for some reason, when on a first date, I feel a lot of pressure to not really be myself. To act more like how I think society says girls should act.

And this, dearest readers, is why I don’t like first dates.

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