This post is about two different types of people. There are several other types of people, but these are the two I’ve been observing lately.
There are some people who allow themselves to get walked all over. They sit back and take it. Come what may. They get yelled at. Demeaned. Taken advantage of. Put down. Etc. Then one day, they snap. They’ve taken it for too long, and stuffed it to the brim. They’re like a tall glass spilling over with bitterness and hurt.
Then there are people who take nothing. They’re the ones who do the demeaning, yelling, taking advantage of others, and so on. They get defensive and put themselves on guard at all times. They have a hard time letting people get past their wall of defense.
Both tend to see themselves as the victim. In reality, both are victims. To themselves.
Person number one has a very passive way of dealing with their issues. They tend to be scared of confrontation, hurting others, taking care of themselves, etc. So, instead of running the risk of shaking hands with Sir Fear, they shrug him off and stuff it all down. Therefore, they become a victim to their own fear and way of coping with difficult situations. A person can only stuff so much though. At some point, it becomes too much to handle and it starts spilling over everyone and everything.
Person number two is someone who has been so incredibly hurt, betrayed, slammed, etc. they have built a wall to protect themselves from everyone. They are scared of being wounded again, and so, instead of running that risk, they push everyone aside. Therefore, a victim to their own fear.
Both types seem so different. One seems docile and mild-tempered. The other seems angry and easily upset. But in reality, both are very very similar. They just both cope with the same issue in a different way.
This isn’t a post to bash either type. At all. Both have been hurt in incredibly deep, detrimental ways. Both are just trying to work past the hurt and figure out life. But both are doing it independently. Not through dependence on Christ. Which will only cause them to go around in circles and never be truly healed.
We have to allow ourselves to be healed. To go back to those nasty, hurtful places, and see the truth in the situations. Otherwise, we will forever be a victim to ourselves, the lies we believe, and Sir Fear.