Contentment through new eyes

eye I’m a dreamer. When I truly allow myself to dream, I dream big. One dream I have is that I want to be a missionary. Not necessarily overseas (although, I would welcome that in a heartbeat), but even just right here. I want to be right in the midst of the battle of love. Go on the streets and get to know the homeless people, sit and pray with the ones who have lost a loved one recently, encourage and help a teenage mom, etc.

The other day, I was becoming restless and discontent with where I’m at. I’m a nanny, piano teacher, and work at a retail store on the weekends. Keeps me busy, yes, but I wanted to be involved in a big ministry. Something grand and huge. To be honest, somewhere I feel I’m actually making a difference. This has been something weighing heavily on my heart. Feeling like I want to be more involved, but not seeing where the Lord wants me. Frustration and dissatisfaction blurred my vision temporarily.

I started talking to the Lord about these frustrations and desires to do more. He answered. He always does. Just not always the way I want. As I was sitting in my car driving down the road to go nanny one day, I started becoming even more anxious and worked up as I was discussing it with Him. But then my Spirit became still. Peace began to settle in. He gently reminded me to just listen. To “be still”. So I sat in the peace and listened.

He opened my eyes that day. He started by walking me through a typical day for me. Wake up, study some school, go nanny, teach piano. Then He took me deeper into that day. He showed me that when I nanny, I’m influencing the lives of two very special kids. Two kids I love greatly. Then He showed me that I have student’s who have the opportunity to see Him every time I teach, if I allow it. He showed me that I am involved in a huge ministry. Right where I’m at. My kids (the ones I nanny, and the ones I teach) are my ministry. Everyday, I have the amazing opportunity to allow the Lord to love them through me.

So, I guess my point is, He’s teaching me to be content with where He has me. To seize every opportunity He puts in my path. Maybe someday, I’ll go overseas and be a missionary, or something ‘grand’ like that. But for now, He’s giving me the precious chance to be used in a grand way now. It may look small to those looking in, but for me, it’s huge. It’s beautiful. And it’s exactly where I’m supposed to be.

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